Diet is a 4 letter word
July 7th, 2009
I have always felt fat. Overweight. I called it ‘big boned’ in elementary school. Baby weight in high school (back then it meant your childhood weight not baby mama weight). Freshman 15 in university..Sigh.
I swear my struggles with body image started as far back as the womb. As my mother read fashion magazines my fetal self sucked in my gut and floated around trying to get my first cardio in before my birth. Ok so Im exaggerating but the scary thing is not by much!
I have also been dieting since I was 11 years old. A total of 20 years of dieting minus 1 year where I actually obtained my weight. You know those people who say ‘it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’ are full of it. I had my ‘best body ever’ for a total of 1 year where I felt worthy , sexy, attractive, enviable and better than all you other women who had any weight to lose. Of course once it came back on I was right back to hating the skinny witches with the rest of the world.
So what is the point of all of this? I almost forgot myself. The point is that I recently woke up one morning and could not make myself diet I coudn’t listen to the stupid tape in my head telling me to eat small meals 2 hours apart and eat light nonfat mayo and for godsakes AVOID the pastry cart at Starbucks. I woke up in every sense of the word. That toxic crap in my head was making me not enjoy my whole life.
My body image was such that I put such a high reward on obtaining a certain weight that my happiness, self worth and ability to enjoy life was attached to a body look and I was screwed. hooped. S.O.L. up you know what creek without a paddle. So I opted out. I promised myself I would never diet again and for a couple weeks I ate like a american at a buffet but then something wonderful happened I stopped craving the crap food and my mind kinda gave up on the compulsion. It was like when someone lets you win at a game and so it just loses all its fun.
To base happiness on something so precarious like weight and looks enough to let it ruin your otherwise great life is a waste of a life. Once you can let go of poor body image you will get your perfect body but the thing is then you wont care about it in the same sense. Let go of all the crap surrounding your ideal body and your body will naturally strive toward athletic and slender. You will naturally choose healthy foods, choose activities your body is good at and enjoys and end up enjoying your life more too!
Did I go to far and end up sounding like a 3am infomercial? Now I have been studying and learning from Martha Beck (I love you Martha, seriously like creepy love you) the reknowned Lifestyle Coach and my own personal version of Martha, Simone, who is so sweet and lovely and great at her job. With what I am learning and studying I am putting together to ultmate weightloss and fitness program that will absolutely change the face of weightloss as we know it today. Stay tuned.
Entry Filed under: Fitness
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